Christmas Has Come to the Shire

Our tall, thin cedar is now laden with ornaments. Over the years, we've collected quite a few sentimental ones. Some the kids have made, others were given by my grandmother for their first Christmas. Some have been handed down as family have passed away and now sit on the branches of our tree, carrying with them, the memories of all the gatherings around my grandmother's tree. I can still hear the doorbell ring and loud welcomes echoing down the hallway as we tried our best to get to sleep before the big man came. We always sung Christmas carols, albeit a little off key, but the vibration of all our voices together left grooves in my heart like a record. Oliver was laying underneath the tree last night staring up through the branches, "You know what I'm doing mom? I'm really enjoying this moment, I want to always remember it." He will, too. I know I remember. Magic.

Muffled Laughter

Mincemeat pumpkin, paradise pumpkin and a traditional brown sugar pumpkin pie.

Molly just loves when there's a reason to celebrate and family converges on the Shire. She wants to be apart of the whole thing, from the cooking and setting the table, to listening in on the adults stories. Oliver likes to lend his "brute strength" to the event, helping to lift wood for the fire. Watching them both, I remember what that felt like as a child, how safe it all felt. "You mean, all these people love me?"Now that we're just across the street, Molly and Oliver spent most of the morning over at my Aunt Denise's house while I baked 3 different pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving(they all smelled delicious)! Being amongst all the bustle, fighting for space both physically and verbally. Try as you might to enter the loud conversations, you may never be heard. Denise compared it to the game Whack A Mole, you've just gotta be patient, then.............. HIT HIM! It's not for everyone, even I get overwhelmed and need to get away for a moment, regain my strength. At my Grandma's, I would sit in the stairwell off the kitchen listening to the muffled laughter, feeling the pulse of the family. The phone on the kitchen wall would ring and someone would answer, stretching the long curly cord around the corner to sit on the stairs to hear better. Having been discovered, I would get up and rejoin the happy chaos. There is not a stairwell to sit in anymore, so I stepped outside for a breather and there it was, the pulse. The laughter, loud conversation and games continued. Standing under the stars, alone, in the dark cold of November, I felt like a little girl again. "You mean, they all love me?"I am thankful for my family.

Comfort Food Breakfast

Today is the first day of the kids vacation from school! Yesterday was hard as we attended our friends memorial. The place was packed and some people stood or sat in the aisles. His young daughter performed "edelweiss" on her violin and the closing number involved us all singing the Beatle's song "We can work it out", his daughter on stage belting out with friends and family, all of us on our feet singing our hearts out, tears running down our faces. Oliver woke up crying this morning after dreaming that Michael had passed away. Such a heavy thing for anyone but especially children. I decided to make a comfort food breakfast! With all organic ingredients, I made a cornmeal custardy spoon bread served with rich maple syrup and thickly sliced bacon. Crunchy, luscious, sweet and smokey, the kids were pleased and we got to enjoy breakfast together at the table. "Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends"
Check out the recipe section for this delicious spoon bread!

A Poem by My Cousin/Niece

Molly came out of class in tears the other day missing her cousin Kiersen. Kiersen is currently living and going to school in Ireland. After hearing this, Kiersen wrote this beautiful poem inspired by the preschool as well as Oliver and Molly.

THE GARDEN

To the garden the children come
To imagine and bask in endless fun
Skipping, sliding and smiling
Thoughtless flower throwing, reclining
The Pixie Girl and the Soldier Boy
Fill my heart with immeasurable Joy
In the garden the children are learning
to run and chase glades in the morning
Their hands stained with ruptured grass
Sharing with each other a warm belly laugh
Building forts and discovering new sports
While making friends and new cohorts
In the garden the children play
Like romping fawns in the light of day
Swing, sing and shake apples from trees
Taking my hand--like Peter Pan--and teaching me new things
Poking bugs and picking up slugs
running back to give a big hug
-She bops along;that Rebel Soul, ready and willing to break every mould.
With eyes that gleam with mischievous wit, underneath it all deep compassion sits.
-He is cool and calm; that rugged man. Give him a problem; he's got a plan. Although he is resilient and serious, in his heart he is silly and curious.

In the garden the children believe in

All the fairies of the evening
In the dark they flicker and dash
Into the cold mud, their small toes they mash
And when it is time to say good night
I hope for them to hold tight
To the garden that they adore
While new adventures they explore

Thank you Kiersen for this beautiful poem. I will cherrish it always.

A View from the Co-op

The winds are blowing today but the air is soft and warm. Dried leaves whirl over streets, bikes pass and people wave. The world has taken on a golden hue. Another pumpkin awaits baking for our Thanksgiving pies. It's time to welcome another holiday season with food, family and fun.

The Nutcracker

Almost every year from the time I was very little, my grandparents took me to the Nutcracker ballet in San Francisco. In a new dress and shiny shoes, we would ride the trolley cars singing Christmas carols and click up the marble stairs that led us to our seats. Thick velvet curtains and large chandeliers, it was so beautiful. The orchestra would warm up, the lights go down and a large snowflake appeared on the drawn curtains. It was magic! Now, for the first time, I will be taking my children to the War Memorial Opera House. I can't wait to share this with them. There is nothing like the feeling of San Francisco during the holidays. Such wonderful memories.

Halloween Treats!

Brown sugar pumpkin pie, lady apples, and lemon sugar cookies for the kids to decorate tomorrow! They've been down at the neighbors most of the morning, carving some pumpkins while I've been busy in the kitchen. It smells warm and delicious! I'm getting excited to go over to Denises' house to spend time with the family. It rained a little this morning and the sky is thick with clouds. Hopefully we'll have a dry evening at the festival. Nobody likes a messy looking angel.

Plans for the Weekend

Pumpkin carving contest over at aunt Denises' house, Halloween festival at the Waldorf School, dinner before trick-or-treating in the Shire: goulash with noodles and sour cream, pumpkin pie, Halloween sugar cookies, mulled cider and little lady apples. Pictures of delicious food to follow!

Prayers for the Dead

Beginning yesterday,I light a small white candle on the altar of my ancestors for seven nights and say a prayer. Trying to remember, in detail, each face I knew and loved. Remembering their touch, smell and voice. How it felt to be in their home surrounded by all that loud crazy family, or how my grandmother's hair looked after I put one hundred bobby pins in it to form little buns all over her head. Ahhh, the smell of Aquanet and Noxzema. Sending these loving memories to those beyond the veil really connects me to who I am and I feel their support lifting me. These memories will live within me always. Here's a Samhain (celtic new year) prayer that I use.

I miss you most upon each Samhain

when the boundary turns to sheer

I wait until the veil is parted

At the ending of the year.

Sweet spirit, as you walk among us

At the tolling of this eve

I see your face beyond the sunset

and hear your voice upon the breeze.

In the glowing of the candle

From the shadow on the wall

I watch for you in every movement

and hear your footsteps in the hall.

Can you sit and spend the evening

As the portal opens wide?

Ancestral dead, I bid you welcome

Most recent dead, I pray, abide.

When you come I sense your presence

I put my hand out in the air

A moment, then, we stand united

Palm to palm while waiting there.

I miss you most upon each Samhain

When the boundary turns to sheer

We share these hours until the dawning

Then bid farewell until next year.

Fruits and Nuts

Little jewels

I love these colors. It's the end of the month, and as usual, things get lean. Michael and I decided to do some foraging for the kids lunches. We came home with some beautiful fruits and nuts. The kids were so excited about the pineapple guavas from Denise's house. We also picked up some more walnuts, pecans and pistachios for use in our holiday baking. I couldn't resist photographing our bounty. Once all the nuts have dried, we need to have a cracking party!

In the Pumpkin Patch

Oh, what variety! They made it out of the maze!

And it was no small feat.

Michael has a plan for the carving competition.

Diana with a llama.

This one is for Elana.

Colors, textures and of course, flavors.

On the hunt for the perfect pumpkins for Denise and Diana's competition on the 30th! We've started an annual carving competition with family and friends. I'm more into the pie, so instead of wasting a ten dollar pumpkin, I'm going to bake mine! Maybe I'll win for originality.

Family Farm Day

Michael contemplates the placement of the veggies!

Molly and cousin Elana sow the seeds.

Molly and Oliver working the beds with Auntie Denise

Up early with my tea and Molly home for three minutes, then off to the garden! Today, we planted rows of seeds, in anticipation of a bounty of beets (all varieties), an abundance of carrots, a river of radish and a plethora of parsnips. Out in the cool fall air, the family gathers to plant and to plan. No one shall go hungry here! If a little is good, a lot must be better!

Illuminated

Pumpkins, skeletons and ghosts aglow. In the fireplace, candles illuminate my white pitcher filled with dried artichokes. My ancestors stand amongst tin tapped luminaries and a giant bat hangs from our green lit ceiling fan. I love my house at Halloween! Ahhh, hot licorice tea with almond milk. Molly is camping out in Denises' house with Elana enjoying pizza and a movie. Another day in the Shire.

A Visit from my Sister

My sister, Addie, came for an overnight visit! The kids were so excited to have her here. They love having Auntie Addie nearby to pop in like this. They had dinner together in our ghostly decorated house and Addie braided Molly's hair for her, before bed. This morning, I baked cinnamon popovers with butter and honey then we were all off to school on our bikes. It felt so good to watch Addie ride ahead next to Oliver, chatting all the way. After dropping off the kids, we headed to ciocolat for a coffee and shared a breakfast. We had a great time talking and watching the UC traffic (bikes) go by. So wonderful to start building a relationship with my little sister. She is amazing. We had great laughs about her terribly uncomfortable bike seat the whole way home!

More Pictures

Me and Molly with our ribbon at the Sonoma Vitage Festival.

Our shirts were a little bit big!

Michael in planting our winter garden.

Michael in the meadow, waiting for the stars

Cozy Cottage

I'm sitting on my grandmother's couch next to the window and taking in the morning light. Everyday looks a little different. I have set up an alter on top of the piano across from the couch filled with pictures of those who have passed decorated with little pumpkins and tin tapped candle holders, some with initials. It seems that every culture has this whether you call it Halloween, Samhain, Day of the Dead, or Celtic New Year it all seems to come back to the belief of the veils between the two worlds being the thinnest. Next to each picture is something that belonged to the person such as jewelry or a handkerchief. It really brings a warm feeling to the cottage. Taking time like this to really include the ones you've lost in your thoughts and daily life makes them feel not so distant and just seems to fit this time of year as the world is growing darker and mother nature is growing sleepy. It keeps me in check with the wheel of the year and the wheel of human life. One thing is certain, the love is never gone.

Morning Snapshots

A bike ride, just me and Molly. Molly is beneath a rainbow silk setting up the play area for the preschoolers. The parents enjoying coffee, conversation and snacks in the breezeway. The children barefoot in mounds of mud mixing and building their wood burning oven for the garden. My last glimpse is of my aunt Mary in a floppy hat and flowing skirt leading the little preschoolers down a lane of changing walnuts sweetly singing "follow, follow, follow me". Beauty in simplicity.

Grateful for Spilled Coffee

I call Tuesday's "glam-up day". It's the one day during the week, theoretically speaking, that I can put on a little make-up and put aside the sweat pants. Oliver has violin lessons at school on this day so it just feels like too much to bike with, giving me a little more time in the morning to feel like a woman! Now I'm sitting here outside the co-op in my lovely attire, leather jacket and all, with coffee dribbled down the front of my beige wool turtleneck. Ordinarily this would really push me to the brink. The one day I get to clean up and now it's ruined, I shouldn't even try, I give up kind of attitude tends to prevail leaving me feeling defeated. However, I find myself not bothered. I really feel a sense of calm and satisfaction with my life that I don't believe I've ever had. I have everything I need and more. We're aspiring to live by our values and I'm grateful for all the amazing little moments that make up my day. I'm grateful that I have a son, that at age 10, still likes to "camp out" in my room once in a while just to be close to me and my husband. I'm grateful to be able to make french toast with honey, butter and snow(powdered sugar)for breakfast this morning , for how happy they are to go to school and the amazing teacher and community that are there to greet them. I watch as they enter the classrooms with a smile, a handshake and welcome from their teachers. I'm grateful that I have this wonderful partner who shares the same visions and who loves his family more than words can express. I'm grateful for our small home in this incredible "village" and all the family that surrounds us. I'm grateful for all the friends that continually inspire and support me. It really is contagious once you start to focus on gratitude how many things reveal themselves. And now I can add to the list my spilled coffee for showing me how far I've come.